The Eyebrow Theory

Stephen Colbert's well-loved eyebrow raise is the subject of hardly any debate or discussion, so I decided to put it to myself to describe this astonishing and enlightening act which occurs frequently.

Every time Stephen Colbert raises his eyebrow,
a child is born...
A flower blooms...
Someone does an act of kindness...
I eat a candy bar...
A Martian sun rises over the red deserts of Mars...
A car crash is prevented...
A baby seal is saved from certain death...
A scientific discovery is made...
A story is told...
I eat another candy bar...
A beautiful painting is completed...
Someone says "thank you"...
Someone gets married...
A dove sighs...
A tree grows a leaf...

And all is right with the world.